fuck you very much.

its been a while since i last used this blog. haaaay, a lot of interesting things happened.

i am really feeling down these days. its because of boys, family and studies combined.

first of all, i dont wanna let it out here but i just cant stop myself from expressing. i am really shy

to tell others about these problems aside from those boy problems coz i can share them with my

ever closest friends. i think i'll just share my boy problems.


okay, let's start.


i can fully remember. this guys started it all.

it was summer then, it's already the second week of my class when i decided to go check my myspace account

for a change since i havent seen it for weeks.



then a pink notification thought bubble with a number in it shows that there is a notification, or a message depending on the number that was indicated inside the though bubble.


a guy messaged me saying


"hi lm alex n lm goin to makati to visit my pinoy friends ifom university in usa.thought your pix were cute thought u might wanna hang out. my email is ---------@yahoo. hope your weekend is gud!"





well, that was the exact message he send me.

it was written on my birthday, 9.53 am


i replied to his message few weeks after he send it to me coz i was in baguio that time

i email him since he game me his email.

he asked for my number and fine, i gave it!

for the record, he looks so fine in his picture btw thats why i didnt kind of hesitate to give in haha

what a bitch i hahaha


then he texted me but i didnt have a chance to text back coz i didnt know where my phone was, but when

i finally found it, i read his messages saying that why did i even bother giving my number

when i wont be planning on texting back. he also said that he'll be leaving saturday.


of course i apologized and blah blah.....


we texted the whole day that time, then he insist to meet me.


fast forward and freeze!



we already met each other.

i can only say few things.

he has a BIG.....

....personality hahaha kidding


he's so tall



our "meeting" ended

and he called a cab for me to go home.


i wont tell the other details.


being the attached bitch as i am, of course

i am looking forward for another "meeting" the next day so i texted him if we could meet again

before he leaves.



he said he'll try to meet me again at the same place we decided to meet the first day.

he said i should text him 30 mins prior  to the  time we agreed.

at six i said im already there @ the place

he said he'll be late, 15 minutes.

so i went to powerbooks first to browse( which i always do)

finally i received a text that hes there already.

excited again

 o fuck, i dont even wanna continue this story urggghhhhhh!



anyway

i went to the place and no sign of him.

i received a text that hes there already


asking what was i wearing

and i said so.


suddenly i received a text


 that we should meet at Friday's

well, its near where we should supposedly meet.


so i went outside Friday's and


a guy approached me and asked if i knew Alex

the i said yes and he said that Alex cant meet me coz hes meeting someone he has to get rid of.

well, that guy told me that....

then that guy gave me money and told me its for the inconvenience...

and that guy also told me that Alex will meet me instead at this restaurant... later


i was kinda hesitant to get it first, but oh well, i took it.


then i suddenly went somewhere else.

rude much? haha


im just kind off pissed off that time.


then i started thinking of different things.


i thought of him making a fool out of me and meeting someone else?

or did he meet a new guy he saw from the internet?

then i felt sad and kind of broken


coz whenever i have these experience from a guy that will ask me or talk to me and

would say that im "cute"
 fuck. that makes my heart melt. i dunno, i easily got attached and would

think of the possibilities that would happen.....


urrgghhh


i forgot to mention that it was also raining that time


fuck that rain. good thing i didnt... burst into tears...

haha why would i be?

hes not my boyfriend right???!!!! and we just met???

i dont have the right to be jealous!


thats what i always tell myself.

i cant believe this will tear me apart that time.



so, i waited.... coz the guy said that Alex will meet me later, so i did wait.

i even texted him that are we still gonna meet.


no reply from him....so i still waited.

i actually window shopped while waiting for his text.


then hours ago, there's still no reply from him

i panicked already coz the mall will close in a few minutes and i had nowhere else to go.

i dont wanna wait outside coz its raining...but i still did.


how pathetic of me to do that. crap

and suddenly, my phone reached its last battery bar.


so i had to charge it!

i dont wanna go home coz i wont be permitted to go out anymore once i got home.


i went to a convenience store and see if there are chargers there that i can use.


un-fucking-fortunately, it was cracked!


still, no message from him.



i went back to the restaurant the guy told me Alex was going to meet me

and no sign of him.

im afraid to wait outside the resto coz there might be pickpockets there and its raining.

but i did waited there.


urrgghhhh cant believe i did that

i waited for few minutes but i was afraid to wait there so i decided to go back to the mall.


i only went back to the restos outside the mall since its still open even though the mall closes.


i am standing there where i smell cigarettes and seeing these hookers.

i felt like i was one of them waiting for a customer gosh!


suddenly, a guy approached me and asked for the time.

so i told him... then he asked another question then i got goosebumps!


shit! what 's this guy's intention? so i immediately walked away from that guy.


i remembered the money that was given to me by Alex's friend a while ago so i bought myself a "Quickly" shake.





i finally texted him

"are we still gonna meet or what?"




i went to the convenience store again to sit in a few minutes.



still no reply from him.


i realized that we wont be able to meet anymore coz its late.




so  i got home already

am resting in my bed then suddenly i received a text

from him saying.


"yes, we can still meet."



i replied.

"i got home already, the mall's already closed and i dont know where to go and my feet hurts."


all he can reply is that he's sorry.


it's friday now and tomorrow's gunna be saturday and he said that he'll leave saturday.

fuck that.


im really sad that night and i didnt text him anymore im so mad at him.



but the next day, saturday.

i had a class then but i ditched it coz im so not in the mood and im also sad because it's Alex's time to go now. i dont know where he'll go though.....


i finally texted him again.

"nice knowing you though, have a safe trip!"

it was sooo nice of me to say that but deep inside me, fuck you im really sad! why do you have to do that!


he replied

"thanks, we can meet again, next year"


i suddenly got excited but then again, next year???!!!

that's soooo long! anything can happen in a year!


so its been  4 months now since he left.

i messaged him via myspace where he first saw me.

at first he replied to my messages, but not anymore.

i messaged him and asked him how he was and if im annoying him in any way.

but still no reply fuck him.

now im trying to get over that fucking guy but...... gosh i miss.......him

urrrgggghhhhhh why???!!!!! were not together!

maybe he's just bored and decided to meet me

gosh i cant take this anymore, i have to end this blog.






toodles,

alvin

photography days

while i am scanning all my pictures, i came across these certain photos. photos that i will never forget, my photography days. though i don't miss it, it's still cool remembering it.

well, pretty much, these are not that adorable pictures....i only upload a few...

oh, from those days, my pressured, stressed life began.

btw, my black vest, hat and pinstripped shirt were in demand in these production stills.

cant remember if some of these pictures were shot after another.

and good thing there was a pizza :D

toodles, 

alvin

CRUSH me now

yesterday, i had an epiphany. one of my ever favorite anime series had finally a live action one. it means that it is now being turned into a show where real people or actors portray the character based from the anime. this anime that i am talking about is Honey and Clover. i even watched it every week in animax but i failed to finish watchng it til the end of the 2nd season. 

to be honest, i am not really into animes that is too boyish and brutal, (duh?!)

and im a sucker for teenaged love scenarios that'll make me kilig to the bones :D coz im beginning to realize that i am a hopeless romantic one.

another thing, i am now officially saying that i am crushing on someone cute these days <3

his name : eddie

it's been a long time since i really felt the "kilig to the bones" moment. as long as i can remember, i was still in highschool when i felt that intense kilig.

i am so shy to post this, but what the heck! >.<

weeeehhhh i hate it na! im so kilig na....XD

omg, like literally, im lost na sa thoughts ko...

anyway, here you go :D

cute cute cute:D

can't help but smile :D

see yah around

xo, alvin

i left my head and my heart on the dancefloor

recently, Gaga's newest music video made me so crazy about avant garde fashion. before, wasn't that interested but when Gaga's Fame reached me, i changed my vision in fashion.

last week, i decided to vectorize one controversial celebrity and of course, Gaga would be so much perfect.

The first photo above is my hand drawn image of Gaga and beside this picture is the original image.

i am not yet finished with it, i have to draw the yellow hair and color it so it will be visible when you look at it from a far. i concentrated more into drawing her eyes and the details...

btw, i drew this via the CINTIQ or the STYLUS pen and is used directly to the WACOM monitor.

ughh...the joy of using it gained a sudden back, shoulder and neck pain. oh, i forgot my right hand.

i am creating more illustrations for my portfolio site and the chance of a client :D

see you soon,

i'll look forward to posting my illustrations here so watch out for it :D

toodles,

xo alvin

another WEIRD dream

it is believed that dreams are very much contrast into reality.

well, nagkaron nanaman ako ng isa pang weirdo na dream

pero this time di na ako bittersweet.

ps, hindi ito GIGI ah

i remembered parang may sequel ung previous dream ko

kasi ung isang character dun sa 1st one ay kasama din sya dito sa latest...

yung beki na lumalandi daw kay crush na classmate ko

ay classmate ko pa din ngayon

and yung scene ay may test nanaman daw.

medyo di na malinaw yung details compared dun sa previous

kasi naman ewan ko ba, chinerish ko ata ung dream na yun kaya tumagal sa utak ko

hahahaha

anyway, yun nga....

may test nga daw kami that day pero wala daw kaming dalawa ni beki sa testing venue

di ko na maalala kung bakit daw e pero wala daw nga kami

magkasama daw kami nun

tapos all of a sudden, nagmamadali daw kami and nandun na kami sa venue

sa pagkaka tanda ko, di sya ordinary na test sa classroom eh,

parang entrance test kasi may strict na time

so, yun nga, pagdating daw namin, nakikiusap daw kami kung pwede pa humabol

pero di na daw kami pinayagan nung girl na parang nasa front desk

so ayun, sad daw kami, napunta daw kami sa may roxas boulevard pero wala pa dun sa

baywalk talaga.

at eto, naloka talaga ako kahit dun sa panaginip, naloka din daw ako!

may pinakilala daw si beki sa akin na nakaupo..

mahaba nga buhok nya e

tapos eto na nga, nung tumingin daw e lalaki pala

at ang mas nakakaloka, si JASON CASTRO ng american idol, ka batch ng 2 david!

tandang tanda ko talaga yun eh, at yung dreadlocks nya!

as in naloka talaga ako, obvious naman diba ilang beses ko na binanggit yung word na yun?

hahahahah!

tapos napansin ko nawala na ung beking kasama ko

and then nag uusap na daw kami ni JAYSON!

di ko naman sya crush eh pero ang naaalala ko dun sa dream, kinukulit ko daw sya

tapos sya daw pa-shy effect pa...

ha?!

hahahaha!

after nun, yun na, nagising na ako...

weird talaga! :D

toodles,

xo alvin

back from retreat, back to reality

Last February 18-19, 2010, I joined the retreat together with my friends. Before the retreat day, I would honestly say na hindi ako excited because madami requirements sa subjects but then again sabi nga ng classmate ko, mag retreat na nga daw kame para less na ung iisipin namin before kami mag-graduate, so why not di ba?

Feb. 18 came and we were at the chapel. Few minutes, we ate lunch and headed to the big school bus. Of course, just like a 2nd grader, i feel excited whenever there will be a trip out of town whether it's a retreat of whatever. By then, most of us took our own DSLRs and shoot every moment. It was fun, fun, fun! Though we didn't sing or dance just like children on board.

Oh, btw, yung retreat house pala ay nasa Tagaytay.

Fast forward and we arrived na sa location.

I have to say that honestly, I missed these moments talaga.

Kainis nga kasi overnight lang kami, so one night only :C

I really enjoyed pa nung tapos na lahat ng session for the day and supposedly time to sleep na.

We were told na keri lang daw mag bonding pero until 12mn lang daw, so nilubos namen and 3 or 4 hours!

Nakakaloka kasi ang lamig sa labas at ang daming stars talaga super!

nakakita nga ako ng shooting star ba yun? yung mabilisan lang.

tapos chikahan with the girls about boys tapos yung girls naman pumupunta sa boys' room

kasi majority ng participants ay kame magkakakilala, kaya O.P. yung iba na walang kilala.

At nakakaloka talaga nung malapit na mag-12!

Biglang namatay yung mga ilaw sa labas!

so kame syempre sumigaw!

kaya pala namatay yung ilaw ay dahil pinatay nung mga sisters kasi daw

ang ingay daw namen!

kaloka sila ah, so sa loob nalang ng room kami nag chikahan.

few hours pa, we decided to finally matulog na.

i remember, before this retreat, Allan invited me to hang out nga and dinner with others so nakareceive ako ng text from Allan.

Di naman ako maka reply kasi wala signal dun as in!

anyway
ako naman di pa makatulog kasi nanibago pa ako

ganun naman talaga diba?

so, kinabukasan, maaga din kami nagising and naligo na and nag breakfast na din.

tapos of course, after nun we took pictures of ourselves kasi maya maya uuwi na kami.

i noticed nung nasa bus na kame, wala na masyadong pictures kasi nga haggard na kaming lahat.

pagka-arrive sa school, na-feel ko na ang heat at pagod.

mga 4pm kami nakarating sa school tapos 6pm ung meeting time namin ni Allan sa MOA.

yun nga, i have to go home and leave my baggage there tapos nag wash ng face and onting rest lang

tapos gora na sa MOA.

again, i realized na buti nalang nag retreat kame kasi nga siguro restday din ito para samen.

na-sad lang ako kasi back to work na.

sana maulit ung mga gantong trips :D

btw, eto ung link nung mga pics namin sa retreat

retreat by eno

retreat by bea 

retreat by jelina

toodles

xo, Alvin

very first blog

Tellement Excitant
(So Exciting!)

Hah! i just created my very first blog! My friends Allan and Zeus influenced me to do so. I just realized this could be my diary online, though it's not that private. :D I just wish I'll have the time to blog whenever I have interesting experiences from my "roller-coaster kind of fabulous" life.

toodles!
xo, alvin